Do you lack self-confidence, a must-have for business success Lets fix it right now

Do you lack self-confidence,a must-have for business success Lets fix it right nowDo you lack self-confidence,a must-have for business success Lets fix it right nowHow many times have you been in a meeting with a man whos clearly making it up as he goes, yet doing so with the utmost certainty? Youre thinking, Seriously? He doesnt have a clue what hes talking about. I have an idea thats much better. He, meanwhile, is confidently advancing his ill-considered position without a whisper of doubt. And while you hold yourself back from promoting your worthier position, hes the one who ends up in front of the group waxing eloquent, drawing accolades, and advancing faster up the ranks.How about when you have a success? Youve worked hard, come up with a new approach, brought in a new client or customer, or made a big sale. You deserve accolades, but do you lay claim to them? Or do you attribute the result to fate or to other people? I bet you do the latter. Men dont. They fully acknowledge th eir own achievements, and often take credit for other peoples contributions. They are always the star of the narrative.What accounts for this gender gap? It comes down to one word confidence. Studies consistently show that while their actual performances did not differ in quality, men consistently overestimated their abilities and subsequent performance, and women routinely underestimated both. This lack of confidence is devastating to our careers. We dont consider ourselves qualified for our current jobs or promotions, we predict we will do poorly when faced with challenges, we hesitate before making key decisions, and we believe we dont deserve job advancement or greater compensation. What begins as self-doubt quickly becomes self-sabotage.Succeeding in the business world requires more than competence. Our efforts to demonstrate that we deserve promotion, compensation, and success based on merit have been misguided because confidence trumps competence.The good news is that confide nce is a skill, and like any other skill, it can be acquired. Step one is to just do it. Act as if you exude self-confidence. Fake it until you become it. Walk the walk and talk the talk.Imagine, for example, a woman who is petrified of public speaking. Her fears loom large- shell forget her talking points and just stand there silently, shell sound stupid or shallow, or shell start stammering and stuttering. Her stage fright is almost incapacitating. Despite these challenges, she forces herself to make a short speech to a small group of people. She practices and prepares. And she does it Theres no standing ovation, but she does just fine. None of her fears materialize. What does appear, however, are the first blossoming signs of confidence. That single, small step toward mastering her fear of speaking is enough to give her the confidence to speak again. Next time, she may feel comfortable taking on a longer, weightier speech or speaking before a larger audience.Taking action. Riskin g. Doing. These things generate a belief that you can successfully perform a skill, and that directly generates confidence. That, in turn, stimulates further action, and the cycle continues.Start with these actions1. Stand up with confidenceKnowing that a substantial part of confidence is a choice can free you from the myth that youre stuck at the level of confidence you feel now. As ambitious women, we can choose to expand our confidence. Starting now, you have to put yourself out there. Force yourself if you must, begin small if thats what it takes, but you must act. Action breeds confidence.Stop brooding and doubting your abilities. End your self-sabotaging thoughts, and start taking action and taking risks. Once you see that you can do something, it bolsters your ability to take another action or face another risk.2. Speak upIf you have an idea or disagree with whats being said, speak up. Shut down mansplaining and manterrupting and stop allowing men to appropriate your ideas as their own. When you are speaking, do not yield, and call out any man who interrupts you. If necessary, bluntly say Stop interrupting me and let me finish. When you talk, make sure to use empowering language that exudes confidence.Never apologize before you speak. The word sorry should be banished from your vocabulary. Do you ever hear a man apologizing? Similarly, never caveat what you are about to say with prefaces such as Im not sure but or I might be wrong but. If you discount what youre about to say, good luck having the men take you seriously. Use direct, forceful language.Male speech patterns are more assertive, direct and succinct. Womens speech patterns are perceived as weak, unassertive, and tentative. Use short sentences. This makes it harder for people to interrupt you.3. Show upDisplay your true grit, a combination of mental toughness, courage, hard work, and sometimes sheer stubbornness to keep going until you reach a goal. Reaching that goal is usually a marathon, not a sprint. Demonstrate the tenacity to continuously prove yourself.Seize the next challenge and keep achieving. Push back against those who deny you what you need.4. Smarten upFocus on earning respect, not popularity. As women, we tend to be people-pleasers and hyper-sensitive to nuance. Dont obsess over being likable. Most men arent worried about being likeable, so you have to get over it. If youre good enough at your job, it doesnt matter. Understand that success is not a popularity contest. Women have to learn to withstand disapproval and criticism and, when necessary, to take hard, contrary positions.The most likable people are not regarded as leaders. Instead, to achieve success be respected, decisive, and inspiring.Linda Jane Smiths new book, Smashing Glass Kicking Ass Lessons from the Meanest Woman Alive, is available at Amazon as well as other online booksellers. To learn more, visit Linda on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and at TheMeanestWomanAlive.com.